


Not What we Expected

by MythsAndMythos



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTAV - Freeform, Hitman!Ryan, evolution of hitman!gavin, hitman - Freeform, overprotective Geoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 18:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8172023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythsAndMythos/pseuds/MythsAndMythos
Summary: The Vagabond has built himself a reputation which spread across the country, that of a ruthless assassin. How he’s managed to fool the world with that reputation, the Fake AH Crew will never know.





	

The Vagabond has built himself a reputation which spread across the country, that of a ruthless assassin. His marks never survive a full 24 hours after he’s taken the job, and his calling card is the chaotic mess he leaves behind. No one knows his process, but it’s assumed that he meticulously plans every move he makes and does hours of research and recon for a hit. How he’s managed to fool the world with that reputation, the Fake AH Crew will never know.

All it takes is talking with the guy who claims he’s the Vagabond to think they’ve somehow hired a fake, despite their careful tracking of the man. They sent him into a manor where a high profile auction was being held, which housed rare and forgotten artifacts and was being bid on by the criminal elite. It all goes to shit the minute the man enters the building.

The Vagabond has a flair for the dramatic, and the Fake AH Crew can appreciate that, but this man is more chaotic than ten Gavins put together. The only weapons he brought with him were a silenced pistol, one bullet to make it sporting, and a handful of change, claiming he could ‘figure out what to do when he got there’. Geoff started drinking the minute the Vagabond snatched a screwdriver and claimed it was perfect.

The Crew watched through the security feed with baited breath as the Vagabond recklessly incapacitated and killed bystanders as he moved through the mansion. After 10 minutes in the building there were two maids with their necks snapped in a slowly flooding bathroom, a waiter stripped naked and shoved in a closet, and a security guard at the bottom of a stairwell which the Vagabond claimed was a ‘just for fun’ kill.

The man had somehow rigged an explosive on the first floor which took out one of the auctioneers and drove the whole congregation of criminals to their personal vehicles in an attempt to escape, and yet he somehow managed to pull off the hit. Somewhere between blowing up priceless artifacts and leaving in style in his zentorno, the Vagabond garroted the target with a highly priced piano wire. 

Geoff and Jack are left blinking at the camera channel that Gavin’s holding open, in shock at the prone body splayed on the floor. No one saw the Vagabond fill the hit, but all 5 of the crew had been watching through their fingers as the mad man seemed to bumble through the mansion with no clear direction or plan. How a man with that attack style managed to build an assassin reputation for himself is a mystery they’ll never solve.

It’s only the deep voice rumbling through their comms that draws them out of their silenced confusion. 

“So do you want me to meet you at the penthouse for payment and debriefing?”

Geoff is the first to shake himself free of the stupor that hangs over all of them. “Sounds good Vagabond, see you in 20.” Geoff isn’t even going to question how the Vagabond knows where their base is, they sent him the hit through his secure contact methods and haven’t actually met in person yet. Turns out the Vagabond does do some sort of research, even if it’s on his employers and not his targets.

In the few minutes of peace before the Vagabond arrives Geoff gets another drink, Gavin shuts down his equipment, and everyone piles onto the couches to greet the hitman with a united front. There’s a duffle bag filled with the required payment in cash on the coffee table, ready to be handed over.

After the first job, the Vagabond becomes their go-to guy for hits the Crew can’t fill themselves. The Crew slowly gets used to the deep voice rambling about coconuts and pool balls, holding a conversation with himself about the possibility of hitting someone across the street from 3 stories up. Geoff slowly learns to watch the Vagabond work without a bottle of whiskey clenched in his fist and a hand over his eyes. 

Strangely enough, Gavin is the one to build the closest bond with the assassin. Gavin cheers him on and encourages the crazy stunts that send Geoff to the alcohol cabinet. They even rig the comm unit so Gavin can collaborate with the Vagabond on the insane plans he crafts on the fly. Gavin will point out the easy kills and the places to hide from his position behind the security camera while the Vagabond follows his instructions, stabbing any person unfortunate enough to cross his path.

It’s not uncommon for the Crew to hear the deep rumbling of the Vagabond mix with high pitched British cooing. They discuss weapons and the lethal qualities of the most innocuous items the Vagabond comes across as he maneuvers his way through a hit. Gavin will mention something random he spots on the screen and the Vagabond will demonstrate how effectively it works as a murder weapon and, to be honest, it freaks the rest of the crew out just how well the two work together.

One hit in particular, when the Vagabond declares he’s “going in hot”, sees a vast amount of explosives used. Somehow the man got his hands on an explosive rubber duck and a cell phone bomb. Of course the assassin fills the hit somewhere between the fiery explosions, but the carnage he leaves behind turns even Michael’s stomach. 

And then one day, the Vagabond is out on a hit for them but Gavin’s not in his usual spot in observation room following his progress. The computers are powered up and the frequency’s hacked, even the camera feeds are pulled open, but Gavin isn’t in the penthouse. Geoff nearly goes into hysterics before he actually looks at the screen and sees that the Vagabond isn’t alone. Strolling casually beside the hitman is their own Gavin, wearing his flashy gold sunglasses and looking cheerfully around the venue for the target.

Geoff is seconds away from calling Gavin’s phone and ordering his idiot hacker back to his post but Jack stops him. If Gavin has already infiltrated the hit it’s safer for him to stay with the Vagabond, regardless of how reckless the man is.

The remaining four members of the crew huddle around the computers and watch as the Vagabond seems to carefully guide Gavin through the building until they corner the target. The Vagabond twirls a pair of scissors gracefully in his fingers before handing them to Gavin. The Crew can only watch in silent disbelief as their least violent crew member throws the scissors with a deadly accuracy he’s never displayed before, lodging them in the target’s throat and effectively filling the hit.

Of course when Gavin and the Vagabond return to the penthouse Geoff spends a good hour yelling at them in a high pitched frenzy. If the Crew thought he drank a lot watching the Vagabond’s erratic movements, the amount of alcohol necessary for him to watch Gavin is nearly double. Geoff rants and raves about the danger Gavin put himself in without even notifying the Crew, but the excited gleam in Gavin’s eyes isn’t missed by anyone. They all know he’ll do it again.

That’s why it comes as no surprise when the next time they call the Vagabond, Gavin insists on delivering the hit information in person. Geoff wants to tell him no, wants to keep his boy safe, but in the end Gavin’s an adult and an established criminal in his own right. If the lad wants to tag along with the Vagabond on assassin hits, who is Geoff to stop him.

Gavin accompanies the Vagabond for a few more hits and the Vagabond somehow works his way into the Crew, and even has his own room in the penthouse. Geoff doesn’t know when the man turned from a convenient ally to a Crew member, he just knows that the strange man fits in with the group of misfits Geoff has collected.

And then one day the Crew comes into the computer room to see the Vagabond sitting at Gavin’s usual desk, but Gavin is conspicuously absent. Geoff is understandably confused, seeing as the Vagabond is supposed to be taking out one of their biggest competitors in the drug ring at the moment. 

They all glance at the computer screen and freeze at what they see. While the Vagabond silently relaxes with a steaming mug of tea, Gavin is picking his way through a mansion towards the target. Geoff lands a punch on the Vagabond’s face when he sees the boy he considers a son is the one filling the hit. It takes the whole crew to drag him away before the fight can escalate and Jeremy is the one to push a bottle of the closest alcoholic beverage into his hands. 

By the time he’s calm enough to form full sentences and not immediately try and strangle the Vagabond, the door is banging open as Gavin prances in, bubbling with excitement. 

“Ryan, did I do well Ryan?”

The Crew freezes in confusion and collectively thinks ‘who the fuck is Ryan’ when the Vagabond chuckles and ruffles the lad’s sandy blonde locks.

“Yeah, you did great.” He rumbles and the two retreat down the hall, discussing the finer points of Gavin’s strategy.

The Crew never brings it up with the lad. All they know is Geoff had a serious conversation with Gavin and Ryan which resulted in Gavin moving from hacker to hitman and the Vagabond, Ryan it turns out, becoming their muscle and agent of chaos. Somehow Gavin, the fumbling hacker, turned into the most notorious hitman in the country managing to surpass even Ryan’s old reputation.

**Author's Note:**

> come chat with me at mythsandmythos.tumblr.com


End file.
